Burning, burning
ln the flame
Now that l know her secret name
You can tell whose heaven will go
But she'll be back and through the gate
That's what l call a fuckin' show!
Come here!
- That guy. lt's the puta over there. - Richie, get back on the clock.
- How many? - Three.
Which one?
This piece of shit here, man...
broke my finger and my nose!
And this faggot kicked me in the ribs while l was down.
- Up! - Fuck off, bogeyman!
Fuck!
All right, everybody be cool, or you'll be just as dead as these fucks!
How's your hand? Let me see it.
Shit.
Do you think that was funny?
Sit down!
- Richie, look out! - Motherfuckin' shit!
- Get the fuck off! - Hey! Hey!
- Get her off me! - Hey! Hey!
What the fuck are you doing? Shoot her!
l'm comin', buddy!
- Richie. Richie. - Fuckin' bitch.
Richie.
Fuckin' bitch.
Richie.
Hey. Hey.
Hey.
What the fuck?
Dinner is served.
Fuck! Get off me, man!
Come on! Come on, you! Jacob!
No, no, no! Look out! Look out!
You know what everybody says about me, huh?
l suck!
Let's see if you taste as good as your brother.
Fuck you.
Hey, hey, hey!
Oh, shit.
Huh?
Give me that!
l'm not gonna drain you completely.
You'll be my slave.
Because l don't think you're worthy of human blood...
you'll feed on the blood of stray dogs.
You'll be my footstool, and at my command...
you'll lick the dog shit from my boot heel.
- Oh. - Since you'll be my dog...
your new name will be Spot.
Welcome to slavery.
No, thanks. l already had a wife.
We might be in trouble.
Yo. Monkey man.
Anything you got to say to them...
you can say to me first.
That's enough.
Ain't they supposed to burn up or somethin'?
Fuck.
Now let's kill that fucking band.
l can do that.
Fuck you, everybody! Good night!
Fuckers.
Hey, buddy.
l'm sorry l fucked things up, Richie.
You would've liked it in El Rey. You would've--
You would've found peace there.
l love you, buddy.
l love you too, Seth.
You touch my brother with that stake, biker...
and vampires aren't gonna have to suck your blood; they'll be able to lick it up off the floor.
- He's not your brother any more. - That's a matter of opinion, and l don't give a fuck about yours.
Don't be a fool! He'll kill us all.
- Shut up! - Shut up!
Let's go. Move. Move. Move.
Hold him down.
Richie, here is the peace in death...
that l could not give you in life.
Fuck.
Seth, are you okay?
l'm peachy. Okay? The world is my oyster.
Except for the fact that l just--
l just rammed a wooden stake into my brother's chest...
because he turned into a vampire...
even though l don't believe in vampires.
Aside from that unfortunate business...
everything is hunky-dory.
- l'm really, really sorry. - Bullshit! Bullshit!
lf it were to up to you if you had half a chance, you would feed us to those fucks.
Then why didn't l?
l'm sorry you lost your brother. l'm sorry he's dead.
l'm sorry everybody's dead.
But if we're gonna get out of this we need you clean and sober and thinking...
not drunk.
- What is that? - Don't know.
First l thought it was just birds.
lt's bats.
Give me a hand.
Hey!
Whoa.
You're dead! Oh!
Come on!
We'll take care of this mess. Go stake the rest of those ugly fucks.
l'm way ahead of you.
- Watch your step. What's your name, girlie? - Kate. What's yours?
- Sex Machine. Pleased to meet you, Kate. - Me too.
Okay.
- ls everybody okay? - Yeah, l'm okay.
- Does anybody know what's going on here? - l know what's going on.
We got a bunch of fuckin' vampires out there trying to get in here and suck our fuckin' blood.
And that's it. Plain and simple.
And l don't wanna hear anything about ""l don't believe in vampires""...
because l don't fucking believe in vampires...
but l believe in my own two eyes and what l saw is fucking vampires.
Now, do we all agree that what we are dealing with is vampires?
- Yes. - You too, Preacher?
- l don't believe in vampires, but l believe in what l saw. - Good for you.
All right, now that we all agree that we're dealing with vampires, what do we know about vampires?
Crosses hurt vampires. Do we have a cross?
- ln the motorhome. - ln other words, no.
Wait a second. l mean, just look around. We got crosses all over the place.
All you gotta do is put two sticks together and you got a cross.
Yeah, he's right. Peter Cushing does that all the time.
Okay, l'll buy that. So we got crosses covered. What else?
Wooden stakes in the heart been workin' pretty good so far.
And garlic. Sunlight. Holy water.
l'm not sure-- Eh, doesn't silver have somethin' to do with vampires?
- That's werewolves. - l know silver bullets are werewolves...
but l'm sure silver has something to do with vampires.
Well, does anybody have any silver?
Okay. Then who cares?
Has anybody here read a real book about vampires...
or are we just remembering what some movie said?
- l mean, a real book. - You me-- You mean, like a Time-Life book?
l take it the answer's no.
Okay, then, what do we know about these vampires?
Well, we know they got superhuman strength, but we can hurt 'em.
- Yeah. - Another thing, though.
lf you're gonna drive a chair leg through a human, you'd better be one strong son of a bitch.
l mean, the human body is one rough, tough machine.
But these vamps-- these vamps, they're, they're, they have soft bodies.
The texture of their skin is softer. They're mushier. You can push it right through them.
You see, but if you hit one hard enough, take their head right off.
Actually, our best weapon against these satanic cocksuckers...
is this man.
He's a preacher.
As far as God's concerned, we might as well all be a piece of shit...
but he is one of the boys.
Only one problem: His faith isn't what it used to be.
l've had enough of your taunts.
l'm not taunting you, Jacob. We need you.
A faithless preacher doesn't mean shit to us.
A servant of God can take a cross and shove it up these monsters' asses.
A servant of God can bless the tap water and make it a weapon.
Jacob, l know why you lost your faith.
How could holiness exist...
if your wife can be taken away from you and the children?
l've always said that God can kiss my ass...
but l just changed my lifetime tune about 30 minutes ago...
'cause l know that whatever is out there tryin' to get in...
is pure evil straight from hell.
And if there is a hell and those sons of bitches are from it...
then there has got to be a heaven, Jacob, there's gotta be.
So, which are you?
Are you a faithless preacher, or are you a mean motherfuckin' servant of God?
l'm a mean...
servant of God.
l don't know if l can take much more of that noise.
Sure you can.
You can take it because you got no choice.
How'd you like to spend 24 hours of it lyin' in some muddy ditch...
with nothing but the rotten corpses of your friends to keep you company?
What are you talking about?
l was in 'Nam back in '72.
l was trapped behind enemy lines with my entire squad dead.
They thought they had killed everyone.
Except for me, they was right.
But it wasn't for their lack of tryin'.
A grenade blew up right beside me.
That's why l'm so pretty.
And they started pushin' all them bodies in on top of me...
and all l could do was lay there, play possum...
listen to the enemy joke, laugh.
Hour after hour after hour l lay--
- Kill them. Kill them all. - Kill them.
- Kill them all.
Sex Machine.
- Kill them. - Kill them.
Kill them!
So l finally climbed out of this hole...
and l sneaked up on the enemy while he was sleepin'...
and l killed one, two, three, four, five--
When l came to my senses...
l realized l'd killed an entire V.C. squad single-handed.
There was blood...
and chunks of yellow flesh clinging to my bayonet.
To this day, l don't remember--
Get it off of me! Get it off of me! Please! Get it off!
No!
Dad!
Fuckin' bit me. Fuckin' bit me!
- What are you gonna do about it? - Come on, Sex Machine!
Oh, shit!
Get up. Get up! Up! Come on!
Go! Come on!
- Wait. We have to go back for my father. - Your dad's dead, Kate.
He is the light.
The people who walk...
in the darkness...
have seen the light!
Open the door!
- Go! Go! - Daddy!
Jacob, are you bit?
Yeah.
Motherfuck. Motherfucking vampires!
l'm gonna kill every last one of you godless fuckin' pieces of shit!
You bet you are, and l'm gonna help you do it. But we ain't got much time.
- You're gonna be okay, aren't you? - No, l'm not.
l've been bit. ln fact, l'm already dead.
Now, l'd say in the next 20 or 30 minutes...
our friends outside will bust in this door...
and l'll probably turn into a vampire within the hour.
Now, you have two choices: You can wait for me to turn, then deal with me,
or we can kick open that door...
and the four of us can go at 'em, hit 'em with everything we have.
But if we're gonna go at 'em, we gotta go at 'em now.
What's this stuff?
My guess is this little dive has been feeding on bikers and truckers for a long time.
This is probably the shipments that they stole off the trucks.
Well, l say let's tear this place apart for weapons...
so when they burst through the door we'll make 'em wish they never did.
l don't care about livin' or dyin' any more. l just wanna send as many of these devils back to hell as l can.
Amen.
Loving God, bless this water and give us your protection and strength...
- in this, our darkest hour. Amen. - Amen.
Before we go any further l need you three to promise me something.
l'll fight with you to the bitter end, but when l turn into one of them...
l won't be Jacob any more.
l'll be a lapdog of Satan.
l want you three to promise you'll take me down, no different from the rest.
l promise, Jacob.
Kate? Scott?
- l promise. - Scott.
Yeah, l promise.
Why don't l believe you?
l'm gonna ask you two again.
Then l want you to swear to God that you'll kill me!
lf you don't, l'm gonna just kill myself right now.
Now, since you need me l think you'd better swear!
Kate, do you swear to God...
that when l become one of the undead you'll kill me?
Kate! We don't have much time, so l'm only giving you to the count of five.
One, two, three, four--
Okay! All right! l promise l'll do it!
Good girl. Now, Scott, we have even less time...
so l'm givin' you to the count of three.
- One-- - You don't-- You don't believe in suicide.
lt's not suicide if you're already dead. Two!
Okay! Okay.
l'll kill you when you change. l swear to God in Jesus Christ's name.
- Thank you, son. - Okay, vampire killers.
Let's kill some fuckin' vampires.
Come out of darkness and see the light.
From the darkness to light.
Come out of darkness and see the light.
Kill 'em all!
Come on! Come on!
Dad?
Dad, not y-- Aah! Dad! Dad! Dad!
l swear to God in Jesus Christ's name.
- Oh, my God! - Fight now, cry later!
Get the fuck off! No! Get off! Get off! Off! Get off!
Kill me, Kate.
Just kill me, Kate.
l can't.
- How many bullets do you have? - l don't know. Not many.
When you run out, start cold-cockin' 'em. Make 'em sing for their supper.
Seth, should l save the last bullets for us?
No. Use it on the next fuck that tries to bite you.
Shoot more holes. Shoot more holes!
- Perfect. - Oh, they can't go into the light.
Perfect. All right, go.
Seth, don't leave me.
Hey! Come on, then. Come on. Come here. Come on!
Come on, you! Come on! Come here, you fucks!
Hello! l'm looking for my friend Seth!
Carlos! Kick in the door!
- Go! - Son of a bitch.
What the fuck was goin' on in there?
What's the matter with you? Are you crazy?
Why, out of all the godforsaken shitholes in Mexico...
do we have to meet here?
One place is just as good as another.
- You never been here before? - No.
l drove by it a couple times.
lt's a rowdy place. lt's out in the middle of nowhere. There'll be no cops.
And it's open from dusk till dawn. Hey, didn't you say you wanted to meet in the morning? Here we are.
Well, since you just picked this place out of a hat, my brother is dead.
That girl's entire fucking family is dead.
- What, were they psychos, or-- - They look like psychos?
ls that what they looked like? They were vampires.
Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits 'em.
l don't give a fuck how crazy they are.
Seth, how can l make it up to you?
Can't-- You can't make it up to me, Carlos. l tell you, you can't do it.
Can't make it up.
Fifteen percent instead of thirty percent for my stay in El Rey.
That's a good start.
- Twenty-eight. - My brother's gone.
You understand that? He's gone, and he's not coming back, and that is your fault.
Twenty.
- Twenty-five. - Twenty-five.
Kate, go to the RV, get the suitcase.
You look like hell.
You want a cold beer? l got some in the car.
Come on. They're cold. Huh?
l got Mexican and domestic.
- So, how do you like the car? - lt's all right.
l said ""like new."" This is a '90.
Hey, it is new, cabron. Belonged to a drug dealer friend of mine.
Hey, he only drove it, like, 14 times in five years.
lt's like new, l swear to God.
- So, what do l do, follow you? - Yeah. Follow me.
All right, let's do it.
l'm sorry.
Yeah, l'm sorry too.
- l'll see you. - Seth.
You need some company?
Kate, do you know where l'm going? Do you know what El Rey is?
- No. - Hey, Seth.
lt's time to go.
Go home, Kate.
l may be a bastard, but l'm not a fuckin' bastard.
Hot air hangs like a dead man
From a white oak tree
There's people sittin' on porches
Thinkin' how things used to be
Dark night
lt's a dark night
A dark night
lt's a dark night
Everything about her was natural
Everything about her was cool
But l'm a little partial for those beautiful girls
Even if their bloods run blue
l think l see her
l think l want her
Oh, l think l love her
She's just killin' me Killin' me, killin' me
l think she's killin' me
Her castanets are enormous
Her bongo beat absolute
And when she doin' midnight performances
She's got a secret somethin' to boot
Yeah
l think l see her
l think l want her
Oh, l think l love her
But she's just killin' me Killin' me, killin' me
l think she's killin' me
Ohhh
Miss Santanico Pandemonium
Don't get any lower or slower
What you see is what you're gettin' conmigo
And the bonus of an albino boa
l think l see her
l think l want her
Yes, l think l love her
She's just killin' me Killin' me, killin' me
She's just killin' me That's some time l had
Oh, l think l see her
l know l love her
Yes, l might love her
She's just killin' me Killin' me, killin' me
She wanna be killin' me
Suck my blood